


flowers

by Talltoasterstruttle



Series: bottom jinjin [10]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Cutting, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm, Suicide, jinwoo is younger then sanha in this, please read the notes before reading this story, this story is not light hearted
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:55:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27477649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talltoasterstruttle/pseuds/Talltoasterstruttle
Summary: life is like a flower, sometimes it's beautiful, sometimes it's admired, sometimes it gets picked away far too young, and sometimes, it withstands thick and thin, just to never see the sunlight. for some, life is like a book, it can bring laughter and tears from the same book. but to Jinwoo life was both, he struggled through thick and thin, just to never reach the happy ending his teachers said there would be.
Relationships: Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin, Moon Bin/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin, Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin/Park Minhyuk | Rocky, Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin/Yoon Sanha
Series: bottom jinjin [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1844233
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	flowers

**Author's Note:**

> |||TW||| mention of the word 'rape' and mention of physical, mental, and sexual abuse. Cutting, and suicide.

for the past thirteen years of Jinwoo's life, he always had hoped he would have a happy ending, like the storybooks. But now Jinwoo wasn't quite sure he would, because now, he realizes, that the storybooks were a lie, tears slip out of his eyes. He was only thirteen, and yet he has already been through hell and back. He was only thirteen, but here he was, being yelled at for having an A instead of an A+ on his report card. Did his parents care that he had been pulling all-nighters for ten weeks for that test in Chinese? no. Did they care that calling him a 'useless mistake' only made his life worse? no. they never cared about him or his feelings. They cared about his grades, who his connections were, and if he was dating the popular girls, even after he came out as gay. they never loved him, if the bruises on his skin weren't enough to speak on its own. Because he was never enough. even when he was at his best, he was still seen as a failure in their eyes. He only hoped his future was brighter than this.

He was only fifteen when he signed his life away to become a rapper. He knew it was a bad idea, but he couldn't stop himself because Jinwoo had always loved music, he could rap and dance, and his dreams took over him. He ended up making it, which was a dream come true for Jinwoo. And he thought that maybe the storybooks weren't lying. He trained four two years, for a company who starved him because they wanted to feed the others more than him. He trained for two years, only to be labeled the "visual hole" of the group. he was fifteen, he still had time to change and grow, yet they were already placing labels on him. He was fifteen and his parents had disowned him when they found out that he had decided to become an idol instead of a doctor. He was fifteen for fuck sake, why did life have to be so unfair. when his group debuted, he was the leader, rapper, and lead dancer. he was fifteen, in a group full of men older than him the oldest being nineteen, and him, the youngest, being fifteen, with the pressure of five people on his back. Yet he loved them, they were kind and understanding to him. they treated him like a human, and that's all he wanted.

The group had immense popularity after their first album, making Jinwoo's schedule more of a mess. He rarely slept or ate, because though his parents were out of his life, they made deep scares that no matter how long he waits, will always be there. But that was okay, he had his Hyungs, they had his back and he knew that. Until he didn't until his parents decided that having him away wasn't enough for them. Because they were greedy, they wanted everything for themselves, they hated seeing him so successful without being what they wanted him to be. His mother had managed to get tickets to the next fansign, which on its own wasn't a big deal. He just had to act happy to see her, right? She wouldn't bother him, and maybe even say sorry for being a horrible parent. At least that's what he wished that was to happen. But no matter how hard you wish and pray, some things never come true. And Jinwoo realized that when his mother's turn to come to him happened. She gave him a note and a face of disgust. Jinwoo could tell she was holding her tongue, wanting to break him more than he was broken before. But he was in public, with millions of people that could hear. So she settled on whispering to him "I told your members how much of a burden you were to me and your father." Jinwoo stared in shock holding back tears, he couldn't lose his members, they were all that he had at this point, they were his reason to live, they were the light in the dark. If he lost them he lost everything. 

The fan sign soon ended, and he and his members were rushed off to the next place they had to be. Jinwoo sat in the back, next to Sanha and Minhyuk. as they were waiting for their manager to arrive, he asked them a question, wanting an answer as soon as posable. "did my mother say anything weird to you?" "we don't even know what your mom looks like. Which we've been meaning to ask if we can meet your parents by the way." Eunwoo said "though there was this weird older lady that kind of looks like you saying that you were a burden to them." Myungjun said looking back at Jinwoo. "oh" was all Jinwoo could reply, He looked out the window and went to the safest and darkest place, his head. So she did tell them that, but they didn't seem to mind, seeing as they didn't question it to hard. I guess they thought it was a anti-Jinwoo fan and thought he would laugh it off. But he couldn't, because she was his blood family, someone he had grown up with, someone he was forced to love because "family first" and he had no escape. 

"Jinwoo did you hear what we asked?" Jinwoo turned his head to his members, "oh sorry I was spacing out..." he said, an awkward smile placed on his face. "We asked if we could meet your family." Moon bin spoke Jinwoo's eyes widened, they would surely see that that women was his mother if he allowed it, but they would question him if he said no. "I'll ask them." he heard himself speak, well he's stuck now, his parents would not miss a chance to ruin Jinwoo's life, and that's exactly what this was. He pulled out his phone and went to their contacts, despite them never texting or calling, he had never deleted their contacts. Maybe because a small part of him thought they might apologize if he waited long enough. he clicked on this father contact names, 'call or text' he thought to himself He decided on calling, it would be easier. the phone rang for a bit, before his father finally responded. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!" His father yelled at him He visably flinched, damnit Jinwoo, he yelled at himself before replying "my hyungs want to meet you both" He spoke barely above a whisper. "you want to know something WE DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU! I DON'T CARE IF YOUR HYUNGS WANT TO RAPE YOU DON'T CALL US AGAIN!" the phone clicked off. Jinwoo's sure that Sanha at least heard what his parents yelled, "I guess that's a no" he says, holding back tears. "Park Jinwoo, are they hurting you?" Sanha asked, fuck. He can't lie for shit please get him out of this situation. "Sanha why do you ask that?" Eunwoo questions.

"first of all, He was yelling at him so loud that I'm sure Minhyuk hyung could hear, second of all his father said, and I quote, 'you want to know something we don't want anything to do with you. I don't care if your hyungs Rape you, don't call us again'" The car went completely scilent for a while, killing Jinwoo at every second. "I heard it too" Rocky whispered. Jinwoo started to cry, he couldn't hold it back anymore, it was all too much, they hated him now, they thought he was a weak horrible person now, and he wanted to die now. "We don't hate you, just tell us what they did to you." Moon bin spoke. Sanha unbuckled him and Jinwoo, and manuvered Jinwoo onto his lap, buckling back up. He hugged him tight, letting tears fall onto his shirt. "They beat me, told me I was worthless, and my brother he-" another sob interrupted him, he didn't want to say it, it was too painful, but it was eating him up. Sanha rubbed his back, helping him calm down, "he raped me" Jinwoo whispered,so that only Sanha could hear. Sanha was now crying along with Jinwoo, feeling so bad for the other. 

The others couldn't hear the last part, but seeing at how upset he was, they decided to wait until Sanha told them. Jinwoo was slowly falling asleep, still clinging to Sanha as if he was his life line. It hurt them to see Jinwoo this upset, and knowing they couldn't change his hurt, hurt them even more knowing that. When Jinwoo finally fell asleep, Sanha told them "His brother raped him" Sanha said just so that the others could hear what he said. They stared in shock at what he said. It scared them, not knowing what else he could be hiding from them. But for now, they were grateful he told them.


End file.
